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Friday 28 October 2016

ONCE UPON A STORY....

It was the middle of dry season. Which meant hot smoldering days and cool breezy nights. The kind of nights that are perfect for lying under the stars next to the one you love. This is where my story begins.

"I love you," he whispers in her ear after kissing her cheek. "I love you more," She whisper back with a smile. He stands and offers his hand to help her up. "Come on," he says with a warm gleam in his eyes.

She took his hand and they walked in the moonlight to the Nepa forsaken half bacha house. They had bills to pay. The young couple sat on a secondhand couch and studied some old newspapers with the aid of a dwarf candlestick. The man was lean from too many skipped meals. His wife rubbed the small bump of her belly and took slow, measured breaths. She didn’t want to worry the child before he even saw the world.  

“Three thousand this month?” She asked. At this rate, they’d stay in debt for twenty years. But what choice did they have?   

Her husband shrugged.

She put down the papers, stood and stretched. The kitchen held the promise of tea, but little else. Her hand trembled as she grasped the mug.

Around her, the apartment reflected the pains and joys of their new life. The few plates in the cabinet were clean and neatly stacked, but they were also chipped. The carpet in the living room was faded and thin, but creased in the patterns of a recent vacuuming, and the duvet in the bedroom were frayed at the edges, but they were also warm, hand-stitched and handed-down from two generations. The apartment smelled of cinnamon, and the window blinds were always open for sunlight, though the windows looked out on a gray, crumbling street.

She turned on the stovetop and sighed.

Warm hands touched her shoulders and rubbed in small, gentle circles. He had been a dancer once, and he still moved with a quiet grace that had caught her attention so many years ago. They had danced together, night after night, in clubs filled with winking lights and the sweat of the exuberant.

She missed that. She missed the care-free speed of twirls and shakes. She missed the stretch in her limbs and pulse of her heartbeat rhyming to the beat of the music. She began to hum and old tune, slow and soft, mournful but unyielding.

He planted a kiss on her temple and spun her slowly around to face him. He offered one hand and placed the other on her hip. She laid her head on his shoulder and continued to hum. They swayed together in the tiny kitchen.

She felt a soft thump in her belly. She stopped and snapped her head up. Her gaze met his, and she saw his smile. Pressed against her in the dance, he’d felt it too. The smile lifted the worry off his face. He looked, for the first time in weeks, like the shy stranger who’d asked her to dance—full of hope. And they sang "whether na one naira,whether na one million...baby you've got me" as tears rented her cheeks. Then again he whispers"I love you," in her ear after kissing her cheek. "I love you more," She whispered back with a smile. He nods his head and says with an even bigger smile, "Yes I am so sure."      


The lack of money did not mean lack of life, or love. They had no time left to be young, but they soon they would pass that gift onto another‎.

By CHINWEIKE DAVID OKWU(LYRICALPONTIFF)

Tuesday 25 October 2016

A word for the wise

It's almost that time of the year again when all our brothers return home from "the abroad". Soon, they will come from all parts of the world- America, Europe, The Philippines, Malaysia, South Africa and even Sudan- to celebrate Christmas.

It doesn't matter where they come from, they will come with a black American accent. Even the ones that came from Sudan will come with pounds and dollars. Because the default currency for "the abroad" people is dollars. Abroad person that is spraying Cedis, is that one abroad person?

They will come to the village, and they will be at every ceremony spraying dollars and pounds. They will wear their starched laces and their original gold chains. I don't care the authentic quality of the chain, but as long as it is from 'the abroad', it is original. They will bag chieftancy titles that ends with "Ego".

They are the real MVPs. The Mr Steal-your-chic-and-convert-them-to-wife. They are always single looking for a wife at home. Yes, they are not bastards, they come back home to marry.

You have a boyfriend who is just a civil servant. Fresh young man who is just starting life. You think you love him until your mother tells you about Emeka, the "abroad guy" that just landed in town. She reminds you about how you both used to be really close friends before he left to 'the abroad' when you were just 3 months old. Mama tells you he wants to marry you. You take a look at Emeka and you see the glory of the Lord shining around him. You admire his British-American accent and his fresh money. You think about your boyfriend- mtchew, who "young man with Dreams" epp? You suddenly start hearing the voice of the Lord telling you that Emeka the abroad guy is the right one for you. You suddenly realize that at 23 you are no longer getting any younger and you can't wait for a graduate who is just starting life.

Emeka spoils you while he is in the village. You both keep in touch as he leaves for "the abroad". You don't see him again but you still talk on phone. You are now both engaged and you are happy, you are dating a guy in Indonesia with an American accent.

Two years pass, you've seen Emeka only once. Because body no be wood, you have a side boo in your town who lubricates the engine when the oga is not around. But you are still engaged. You are getting impatient. You were 23 two years ago but now you are 35, or you feel 35. You nag, whine, write three different please-hide-my-Identity messages to "Dear Amanda". Sacrifice 2 goats as burnt offering to the Fadalurd above. After some months, your prayer is answered. He fixes a wedding date but cannot attend the wedding because of work. So you just do the wedding with his enlarged picture anyway. That picture he was wearing a suit, that one. That's the one you kiss when it's time to "kiss the bride".

After three months, no Emeka. You realize you are now a western union wife. Another series of Dear Amanda messages, burnt offerings and pastor visits, God finally touches Emeka's heart to come home. He comes home for a few months to get you pregnant and go back. When he goes back, the real Lord - not my "Fadalurd" - decides to remember you this time and release you from your misery. You somehow realize that Emeka has two beautiful children with his abroad wife of 10 years now. Your eyes will now clear.

You finally wake up, after 300 posts cursing Emeka and other men specifically, you decide to join the Association of Online Feminists of Nigeria. Dear sister, Kolewerk. You are not a feminist, you are just an aggrieved mega idiot who hates men, and that is not feminism.

Christmas is coming, if you like, follow abroad husband and go.

Culled from: Victor Daniel (facebook)

Sunday 23 October 2016

NOT ON A SUNDAY

Out of her bed she jerked. The alarm sounded just in time. She lets a yawn and thanks the Lord, for his grace to serve her another day. She has her bath and settles in front of the mirror. With her paintbrush she carefully outlines the beauty of God's creation. She gets a dress she has specially prepared, the type that makes her look like a queen- Specifically reserved for special events.

Glamour- check. Grace- check.

She steps out like a queen going on a tour. She turns left and right, looking for a neighbour to judge for not going to church. She steps in the church and catches the vibe. Her voice is loudest and she dances with an extra excitement. She's consumed by the passion of the worship and the holiness of His presence.

The priest climbs the pulpit and begins to preach. His sermons pierces directly into her heart. It takes her back to a day before, when she sweated under the thrusts of a man. When she moaned in pleasure as the rock-hard erection hit her cervix. When she moaned in the name of God as her climax took her to a realm of unparalleled ecstasy. Consumed with guilt, she becomes sober. She sinks in benediction and feels a tear drop. After service, she thanks God for absolution as she walks out of church, more sober than she came.


In the evening her phone bleeps. A message from the same guy she sweated under the previous days. He says "hey hun, will you be free tonight?". She thinks for a while and replies-

"Today is Sunday, let's see about tomorrow night".

BY KENECHUKWU VICTOR

Tuesday 18 October 2016

Episode 1- by Joe-Onyema Onyinyechi

"My God would judge you" was what he
said as he grabbed my bag that hot
afternoon.
"And He would judge you too" I replied
while trying unsuccesfully to dislodge my
bag from his grip. Mehn! This guy had an
iron fist.
" Wicked gurl,today your stubborness and
heartlessness don jam one chance".
I boldly gave him my dirtiest look and
hissed. But in my mind, i was thinking,
'wat is wrong with this guy ehn? holding
my bag like this in a busy street?'.
Passersby kept giving us curious
glances,but nobody stopped to help. Aww
mehn! What should i do?How do i wriggle
out of this mess? Which kyn human be
this? Supposing i make good use of my
teeth? I wondered. As these thoughts
crossed my mind, I looked at the guy. He
was well-built and had longer legs than i
did. So, if i should bite him and run
away,he would probably catch up with me
and give me the beating of my life. He
might even remove my incissors.
" If you want to leave here with your bag
today, you had better do as i say".
" I will not do it, lemme see what you can
do" was my hasty and stubborn

reply,but
in my mind, I was like ''. I prayed all
the kinds of prayers i knew in my mind.
But begging and doing what he wants
would be the last thing I would do.
How did i get into this mess in the first
place?

Sunday 16 October 2016

SO I MET A GUY

I met a guy and for a moment we connected; we looked way beyond tongues and tribes and we talked and laughed about every little problem we were facing.
I met a guy and for a moment the whole world seemed ok; it was strange our meeting but I feel it was for a significant reason.
I met a guy when I wasn't ready to meet any guy and I opened up to him about secrets none other had heard and he did so too.
I met a guy and for a moment I forgot I had a guy; finding pearls in strange places, looking amongst garbage for a clean white shirt to put on.

Yes I met a guy; I don't know what tomorrow holds but I'm definitely gonna ride today's waves to it's peak๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜‰

OCTOBER 16TH

So many times I have wondered what gain is there in writing; so many times I have pondered do my words mean anything to anyone?
So I stopped writing; I decided "baby girl take a little break" no one will notice..
But boy was I wrong; people did notice๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š
People did ask; saying  " Nancy what is up with your blog?" "Nancy I miss your stories"
So here I am penning down something once more
I hope this is as much fun for you as it is for me.
I hope someone finds a smile on these words, and to all writers out there; never give up one day sooner than later you will reap the fruits